oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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