The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
