Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
