Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
