Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
