Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
