I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
