Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
