i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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