Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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