He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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