So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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