haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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