I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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