I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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