My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
