he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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