god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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