Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
