Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
