She's JV to your varsity
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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