the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you traded sex for a burrito?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
