you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
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We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
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there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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