if only i could text you this smell
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
