It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
