508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
