she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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