If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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