Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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