discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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