): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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