I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
