1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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