so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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