On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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