Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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