I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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