but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i think i just lost a toe
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
