make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
