just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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