New low: just hacked my moms facebook
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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