it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
