i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
