Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
