i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
