He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
