Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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