so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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