Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Come share oat with me in your robe
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
