sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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