My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
