Got a toothbrush?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
