First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
