The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
