It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
