there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize