so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
