I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
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She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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