weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
