Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
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Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
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Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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