I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
