It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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