New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
