This is not my ceiling
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize