spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
